New York NY, 21 August, 2008: A joint study concerning the production of fund raising materials by both the Democratic and Republican Party's presidential candidates was released today. The study was sponsored by the New York Times and the New York Daily News.
Karl Rove and James Carville were the principal investigators, assigned by the Fox News Channel. The research grew out of questions asked by people, who received mail from both the Republican McCain for President Committee and the Democratic Obama for President Committee. Specifically, "why does all this literature look the same?"
Karl and James tracked the origin of all the campaign materials to a small print shop in Chinatown, on the lower east side of Manhattan. They spoke to Ms. Suzie Wong the owner. She readily admitted that both US major political parties used her services to save costs! She agreed to answer a few other questions.
How are the candidates issues formulated? "All the statements are structured positively, such that when a candidate's position differs, only a NO need be put in front of the statement."
Do you ever make a mistake in printing literature for the two candidates? "Yes once in awhile we get the ass mixed up with the elephant?"
What about Independent voters and Democrats for McCain? "At first neither party gave a rat's patoote, but as November 2008 approaches I expect to get a big order for material appealing to these voters."
James was overheard saying "gee Karl did you know about this?" Karl and James were seen winking at each other as they headed for the subway to take them back uptown, each with an eggroll in hand. Karl replied with a big smile on his face "what will we have to do next week to come down here and get us kosher knishes and Italian meatball sandwiches?"