Talk with the Lawyers

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Tuesday, 15 July 2008

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Washington DC, July 2008: A new kind of talk radio program may begin to appear on the public airways next year, as it is anticipated that right wing talk radio shows, e.g. Bill O'Reilly may be migrating to satellite radio. (Anticipation of Congressional passage of a new left wing sponsored fairness doctrine.) Left wing Air America, e.g. Al Franken was born boringly dead!

These new radio programs are in a listener provided question and free expert, such as a lawyer, answer format (you know what free advice is worth). Here are a few sample questions:

1. My stockbroker put me into Saudi Arabian Pork Belly futures and I lost my ass. Who can I sue, my stockbroker or Saudi Arabia?

2. My husband worked in a laundry for 40 years that specialized in washing ladies underwear. He has developed large pink bumps with red nipples, all over his body. Can I sue his former employer and our doctor?

3. I have just declared bankruptcy, my house is in foreclosure, my credit cards are maxed out at $100,000 and the IRS is after me for back taxes. Can I sue George W Bush and the US government over the insufficiency of my received stimulus check?

4. I contracted a social disease after visiting a house of ill-repute. According to my doctor Penicillin is ineffective against this strain of Bacillus. Can I initiate a class action suit against all prostitutes? Can you provide me the names of other johns who would like to join this lawsuit?

5. I boarded an airplane for a flight from Washington DC to Philadelphia PA, expecting lunch and all I received was a bag of peanuts and a soft drink. Can I sue the airline for pain and suffering? How much compensation do you think I will get?

Another potential theme for this new type of talk radio format that is currently being considered by the broadcast networks is "ask the doctors." In the event of unaffordable or inadequate Universal Health Care (by the next administration) people can call in and get advice on removing their own appendixes or filling their own dental cavities.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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