Florida lawmakers chew over ornamental testicles

Funny story written by Tragic Rabbit

Friday, 2 May 2008

image for Florida lawmakers chew over ornamental testicles
Florida lawmakers must be playing with their ding-a-lings.

Dangling an enormous ding-a-ling from the back end of your car or truck might soon be illegal if you live in Florida.

Replicas of gargantuan testicles have inexplicably become trendy bumper ornaments in the Sunshine State, but state Sen. Mary Contrary is campaigning to ban the floppy orbs.

Ms. Contrary acknowledged that Florida lawmakers have far more pressing issues, including huge state revenue shortfalls and skyrocketing crime, but said the state needs to draw a line on what constitutes tacky before anything else is discussed.

Contrary's bill to arrest drivers for displaying the ornaments passed the Senate last week.

Gov. G. Crist has not indicated whether he will sign the bill, although he is usually willing to waste time and tax dollars.

"It's good to have some stuff to talk about in Tallahassee that's not so serious. Gotta have a little levity, gotta let things just hang out," the governor said with a straight face from the cab of his decorated Dodge Ram.

A similar bill in Virginia, aimed at fining parents who display enormous wobbly replicas of male human genitalia on rubber baby buggy bumpers, died laughing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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