Salesman of the Year

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Monday, 30 June 2008

image for Salesman of the Year

New York NY, June 2008: All of Madison Avenue was saddened to learn that Filbert "Flim" Flam had passed away at 93 years of age. His friends and acquaintances remembered Flim as Time Magazine's choice for Salesman of the Year in 2002.

Flim was born in a little mining town in Kentucky, completing high school and after two years of college left for New York City. Flim's first employer in 1935 was the German Zeppelin Company ticket office located in downtown Manhattan, where he sold tickets for the passenger carrying Zeppelin Hindenburg until 1937.

Following this fiery start to his career Flim went to work for a Madison Avenue advertising agency in 1938, as a marketing manager. Flim's first solo client promotion in early 1939 was involved with a Polish company that exported Kielbasa Sausage to Germany. Flim's career was interrupted by WWII and he spent 1941-1946 working for Uncle Sam.

After returning from the Army, Flim represented the Tucker Automobile Company from 1947-1948. In the 1950's Flim was the marketing representative for Formfit bras, where he met his lovely wife of 56 years. During 1958-1960 Flim was appointed the marketing manager for Ford Motor Company's Edsel line of cars. 1960-1980 saw Flim promoted to marketing manager for a consortium of companies manufacturing 8-track Tape products.

In 1980 Flim took a leave of absence from Madison Avenue and became a political consultant. He represented John Connally in the 1980 Republican primaries, Democrat Walter Mondale in the 1984 election and independent candidate H. Ross Perot in the 1992 election. There was some talk of Flim getting involved with a Democrat named Howard Dean, but nothing ever materialized.

Flim returned to Madison Avenue in 1995. Flim's finest hour came in 2001, when the arrangement to sell Taiwan, a number of German design Submarines, assembled in a Mississippi shipyard (Flim's client), was torpedoed by the Peoples Republic of China. An old acquaintance of Flim's from his first job with the Zeppelin Company was now the German Ambassador to Hungary. Flim and the ambassador convinced the Hungarians that they needed a Navy, even though the country is landlocked. An agreement was reached with Romania and Bulgaria, having ports on the Black Sea, to base these Hungarian submarines there and let all three countries Navy's use them.

Ultimately the German government heard about this international project and entirely scrapped it. However, not before Time Magazine voted Flim as their choice for Salesman of the Year in 2002. Flim retired in 2003.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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