Bush : Send in the ducks - no, the other ducks

Funny story written by chimera

Tuesday, 18 May 2004

image for Bush : Send in the ducks - no, the other ducks
The new quack troops to skate into Iraq

In a shock move today, George Bush announced that the Mighty Ducks - this time, yes, the hockey team - would also be sent into Iraq to "smack the proverbial s**t" out of terrorists and insurgents alike.

This startling news comes only a day after the Asian Duck Corps were dispatched to the war-torn country amidst international controversy.

Although political analysts are reportedly baffled by Bush's unconventional decision-making, it is clear that the President is growing increasingly concerned at the lack of allies in Iraq.

It seems that the President's hopes are that the Mighty Ducks, with their devastating array of chemical and biological pucks, who could potentially even batter Iraqis to death with their sticks if ammunition runs low, will form a fighting rapport with the respected Asian Ducks and quite possibly the KFC Chicken Reserves, forming the ultimate super-duper superhero crime-fighting team. Since, in effect, the forces will comprise of the Mighty Ducks and the Asian "Mighty Ducks" (as they are, likewise, referred to), on top of the KFC Crew, the team will apparently be called "The Double Mighty Hero Ninja Duck-Chicks ®".

"The plan is foolproof. Foolproof, I tells ye!", explained Bush. When confronted by a journalist, however, stating that there was no ice in Iraq, making ice-skating hockey players impotent, Bush quipped,

"What? There's no ice in Iraq? Are you kiddin' me, boay! But it's on the same latitude with Iceland, right? And Iceland has ice; otherwise it would be called Greenland because it would have green grass not ice."

"Uh, there is a place called Greenland, Mr. Bush. And it's both cold and icy", replied the Journalist.

"He.. ye… buh… … WHAT? Are you kiddin' me, boay! There's no place called Greenland."

"Uh, yes there is."

"Not from tomorrow, there isn't. So there."

Applause erupted.

It seems that the U.S. President's commonsense approach has invoked similar moves from other pro sports teams. The Dallas Cowboys and Manchester United are soon to embark on parallel campaigns under the command of Sir Alex Ferguson's enormous nostrils.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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