Amy Winehouse releases new crack den album version of the classic children's song, "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Tuesday, 10 June 2008


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image for Amy Winehouse releases new crack den album version of the classic children's song, "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"
Winehouse's drug use releases her inner demons…monsters from the subconscious, monsters from the Id.

London, England - Refusing to acknowledge, much less apologize for her drug use, racist and homophobic comments, or even bothering to defend her offensive comments, citing artistic license, no, no, no, Amy Winehouse instead denies the incident ever occurred, even though her husband recorded it using his video camera.

"Amy Winehouse emphatically denies that, that is her making those offensive comments on that tape," said a spokesman for Winehouse. "She has no memory of the incident therefore it never happen."

However, as the video footage reveals, Amy Winehouse can clearly be seen and heard talking trash about a segment of her fan base: Blacks, Asians and Gays. All to the tune of that children's classic song, "Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," while having sex and doing drugs with her husband in a crack den.

Meanwhile, Winehouse's mother came to her daughter's defense, claiming that she is to blame for the incident.

"It's all my fault," said Winehouse's mother. "When she was a little girl in rehab I'd cheer her up by changing the lyrics of popular children's songs to make them funny. It was all pretty harmless really. Like we'd change the lyrics to 'Puff the Magic Dragon' to 'Puff on the Magic then Drag on It' or 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' to 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'. Well, we didn't have to change the lyrics on that last one, just used suggestive voice inflections. But I assure you if you were offended by what she did with 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes' then you haven't been offended until you've heard Amy's version of 'Mary Had a Little Lamb,' even the clean and sober one."

Winehouse's mother went on to claim that her daughter also suffers from short term memory loss and that she has to remind Winehouse that she is a Grammy Award winner, among other things, on a daily bases.

"Every morning when Amy wakes up," said Winehouse's mother." Or actually late afternoon or early late evening actually, I have to call her up and reminder who she is and then who I am and that she's a Grammy Award winner. And especially not to let her husband video tape her while she's having sex and doing drugs in a crack den signing racists and homophobic lyrics to the tune of her favorite childhood songs. Oh damn, I forget to remind about that last one."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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