Amy Whinehouse Most Important Human In History

Funny story written by matwil

Monday, 12 May 2008

Yes, the British media, led by the Soviet-owned BBC, today announced that English singer Amy Whinehouse was indeed the most important human being in history.

Speaking from Shepherd's Lunch, newsreader Jonathan Dimbleclone explained: 'After months of meticulous research, we finally realised that Ms Whinehouse - real name Ms Out-of-tune-hype - is more important historically than such people as Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, and even my dad. Indeed, it is no exaggeration to say - and viewers who don't want know the score should look away - that Amy is now more important than Jesus.'

Some historians were surprised by this announcement, but Professor Dumbledown, of Scunthorpe College of Keeping-People-Off-The-Dole, said: 'No, it's quite true. Amy has defied all previous trends, of vapid, bland, talentless stars being in the news all the time just to keep the Dimbleclone family employed. Already her young life has taken on almost epic significance to millions of people, who would otherwise die of boredom if they were to hear one more meaningless word from Hillary Clinton on TV.'

And speaking from his father's rocking chair, President George Duby'all Bush said: 'Hey, Amy taught me all I know about using microphones to sound good on TV and radio - she even speaks better Englands than me.'

And from his luxury Liverpool home, in Canada, Sir Paul McCartney added: 'Sorry, I just wanted to talk about myself and the Beatles for another thirty years, when's Yoko coming round for tea?'

Orson Welles was unavailable for comment - probably.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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