In a surprise move, the White House today announced that Lassie will be the next US President.
Famous for her role in films such as Lassie Finds WMDs, and Lassie Plays Golf With Osama Bin Laden, the canine star will become President without any real elections, just like the outgoing one.
Barking from her kennel in Darkest Alabama, Lassie yelped: 'If Ronnie Reagan can be Prez, so can I! As for George, well, at least I can eat my food without choking, and I know that people from Iraq aren't called Iraqers. I think America will be safe in my paws.'
Others weren't so sure about this plan. Speaking from his dustbin in New York City, Top Cat said: 'Why, we call President Bush Officer Drivel! OK, Choo Choo, let's go and charm that weird old lady Hillary out of more cat food, she lives off the stuff!'
Switching between speaking like a Harvard professor and a jive-talking rapper every few seconds, hip cat Senator Barack Onobody said: 'The issues about a canine leading our wonderful nation - I mean like, yeah, far out baby! Woo! - is maybe not the way forward for America. Ah suggest, brothers and sistahs, that I am better qualified than Miss Lassie, though mah wife sho' does make good grits.'
Some have suggested that Britney Spears, American philosopher and inventor, or an exhumed Ronald Reagan, along with his wig, would make a better President than Lassie, but this was hotly disputed by Lassie herself. 'I speak better English than Dubya, I'm better on TV than him, and people take me more seriously than that clown.'
Hillary Clinton was seen feeding lots of cats later on.
