Al Gore, presumed dead (by no-one), has been found alive on a gigantic iceberg floating off Coney Island. It was over one month ago that the Oscar and Nobel Prize winner was lost at sea when he fell overboard from a Greenpeace yacht in the North Atlantic.
Under the direction of Bono and George Clooney, a major international search-and-rescue effort was initiated in which thousands of ships, boats, and planes scoured the freezing ocean waters looking for any trace of the environmental icon. This massive enterprise, however, was rapidly coming to the "Inconvenient Truth" that Mr. Gore had become fish bait in the cycle of life.
A reconstruction of events revealed that Mr. Gore rescued himself by landing on a nearby iceberg that had broken off from the Greenland ice shelf. He survived for the past month by subsisting on baby seals that he clubbed and wrapping himself in the fur. He was rescued from the iceberg in Long Island Sound when he was spotted by a Japanese whaling trawler.
Physicians at the scene of the rescue stated that Mr. Gore was in reasonable good health other than a few frost-bitten toes. As he was being life-flighted to Bellevue Hospital in Manhattan, he was quoted as saying, "Thank God for global warming."