Where there's Muck, there's Money!

Written by IN SEINE

Sunday, 4 May 2008

image for Where there's Muck, there's Money!
One of the £460 monster jobbies

Would you believe it? A man actually bought a load of crap at Bonhams auction house in New York for $960 (£486).

The two pieces of dinosaur dung are fossilised, and resemble rock on the outside, and a colourful mineral inside. They are reputed to be 130 million years old; give or take 10 million years, from the Jurassic period.

Larry Crapp, 'Keeper of Coprolites' from The British Museum, told In Seine News:

"Although we were not able to determine what species of dinosaur had this dump, we did express a serious interest in these turds and placed a commissioned bid by telephone, it finally sold for twice our offer price. Shit!"

Bonhams were able to tell us that the buyer is reported to be Tim Sharpe, the 71-year-old owner of a company that sells products to treat pet animal waste in Michigan. The one time spoof-writer and teller of 'Tall Turd Tales' said that he would use it as a marketing tool, by displaying it at the company's stall at trade shows.

However is wife is not so pleased and has been heard to say;

"Shit, shit, shit! We've been in the business for 51 years now. Tim eats and breathes shit and certainly talks it! If he buys any more of that crap, I gonna divorce 'im!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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