OPEC Out for...Blood?!

Written by Lux

Thursday, 1 May 2008

Leaders of OPEC have been rumored to have had recent meetings on combining their efforts to market and produce a new fossil fuel alternative.

A representative from OPEC drunkenly discussed these round table discussions with this reporter shortly after losing his wallet and his pants in a local tavern.

Needless to say after meeting this man I knew he was in need of a few more drinks. So I was more than happy to pick up the tab.

"This is a think tank of epic proportions. The ideas are revolutionary!" he said in his own slurred prose. "Too much money and energy is being wasted mass producing fossil fuels....and too much blood has been spilled to provide this resource. The blood of Americans is very valuable."

He then threw up his last drink and refused my offer to by him another. "I don't need your charity!" he said as he carefully shoved his hand down the back of his boxers.

Soon after grinning like a fool as he pulled out a brown stained roll of hundred dollar bills. "Forgot about my stash" he said.

He pulled out the cleanest he could find and ordered another round.

As he began to toss back his drinks he rambled the strangest most disturbing idea I ever heard; even in my own drunken state. Oh our blood he spoke of earlier is valuable alright! But to them simply another commodity.

Thats right OPEC wants your blood to produce a organic fuel like no other.

"Moneys not enough we need the blood of the people to fuel this society!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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