A secret document has been leaked where it reveals that the US plans to rule Iraq, Iran and any other oil bearing nation for the next 1000 years with Dick Cheney at the helm.
VP Cheney says "We haven't lost very many troops in Iraq as compared to the Iraqi's. We have killed at least a million but we're not publishing any statistics. As long as we don't publish anything those people never existed."
"I am extremely well preserved. They hide my ass in a bunker whenever anything goes down and we send George up in Airforce Prime Target One in the hope that someone gets off a lucky shot. I have been fitted with a JarDick 2008 heart pumping machine. With this thing my heart will last for at least 1000 years and with my lifelong prescription of ViagBobDole I can screw people forever."
"The American people are too busy Brit watching to care, so I can make my moves with no opposition whatsoever. I am also going to take Condoleezza away from her husband George and name an Arab country after her. I think I will rename Iran Condomleezza in her honor".
