America's founding fathers influenced most by Pirate code

Funny story written by King David

Saturday, 3 March 2007


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Aaaack!...Pirates reporting Franklin coming on board....Aaaack!

Despite taking ideas for Democracy from ancient Greece, Rome, India and the Iriquois Confederacy, and many European countries during the Middle Ages, founding fathers John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Robert Livingston and Roger Sherman took most of thier ideas from pirates.

Particulary, the pirate code of the Brethren which was a loose code of conduct for Piracy in the Caribbean during the classic age of piracy set down by the pirates Henry Morgan and Bartholomew Roberts.

Bartholomew Roberts's code stated that:

I. Every man has a vote in affairs of moment; has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment.

II. Every man to be called fairly in turn, by list, on board of prizes (over and above their proper share); but if they defrauded the company, marooning was their punishment. If the robbery was between one another, the guilty party would have their ears and nose slit, be set on shore, not in an uninhabited place, so he was sure to encounter hardships.

III. No pirate will play cards or dice for money. This code set a precedent for future moral behavior and the integrity of the pirate and conservative Christians.

IV. The lights and candles to be put out at eight o'clock at night because plundering and pilliaging is hard work and all pirates need their beauty rest. If any of the crew, after that hour still wanted to drink, they were to do it on the open deck, so if they puked their guts up they could do it over the sides of the boat, or on deck where it could be cleaned easier and the smell wouldn't get into everything and disturb everyone else under the deck asleep. Very civilized.

V. Keep your pistols unloaded and locked in the safe at night and your cutlasses sterilized so that if you were cut accidentally by your own sword, your wound would less likely become infected on the open seas.

VI. No boy or woman to be allowed on board unless she climbs the mast wearing no panties in a dress and and takes the look out. If any man were to be found seducing any of the latter sex, and carried her to sea, disguised as a man, he was to suffer death; boys and other men are alright.

VII. To desert the ship or their quarters in battle, was punished with death or marooning.

VIII. No striking one another on board, but you may blow each other's heads off when you get on shore.

IX. No man to talk of breaking up their way of living, until he has logged 30 hours of career counseling and psychotherapy. If during service any man should lose a limb, or become a cripple, he will be given eight hundred dollars out of the public stock, and for lesser hurts, proportionately.

X. The booty will be divided in the following portions: The captain and quartermaster to receive two shares of a prize: the master, boatswain, and gunner, one share and a half, and other officers one and quarter. Very equitable.

XI. The musicians, all of whom were classically trained, would have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favour. A very civilized group indeed.

Certainly, there were many different pirate's codes on the high seas, but all of them tended to follow a few universal themes, like the right to parley, wear jewelry and rules for the division of booty.

In other news today, "We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately," said American founding father, Ben Franklin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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