Written by Dan Bristol

Wednesday, 5 May 2004

image for George W. Bush Totally Shitfaced, Sources Say
George W. Bush Totally Wasted

Washington - President George W. Bush showed up totally shitfaced for a press conference earlier this week, sources say.

The President, who has been undergoing considerable stress in the wake of controversies such as the abuse of Iraqi prisoners and a touch-and-go economy, decided to cut loose and start hitting the sauce a little. By the time of his press conference on Monday, White House sources told The Spoof, "he was, like freakin' wasted, dude."

There were mixed reactions of shock, disgust, and amused tittering as the President placed his hand over his heart, attempted to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in Pig Latin, and then sing Slim Whitman's "Cowboy's Lullaby" without moving his lips. The President then, with his hand still over his heart, began giggling through his nose and passed out, falling flat on his back and snoring loudly.

Although White House aides were extremely apologetic as they lifted the President up to carry him to bed, the First Lady was not amused. Spoof reporters on the scene say that Laura Bush gave a disgusted pucker and muttered something about pimp-slapping the President within an inch of his life when he woke up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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