Powell Explains US Foreign Policy

Funny story written by Chuck Barber

Saturday, 1 May 2004

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Powell Prepares to Slap Sense into Iraq

Washington, D.C. - Colin Powell, in an interview set up by the Secretary of State to refute allegations in Bob Woodward's latest book "Plan of Attack," stated that United States foreign policy is far more complex than given credit for and is in fact, based on the Stockholm Syndrome.

"We just figured that if we pushed these people around long enough, invaded their country and took them captive in a sense, they'd finally realize it's for their own good and eventually come to love us."

The Stockholm Syndrome was first elaborated in 1973 after four Swedish citizens were held in a bank vault for six days during a bank robbery gone bad. During the course of the ordeal the captives became attached to their captors. Psychologists speculate this occurs to help the captive deal with the violence of a given situation. This phenomenon, since called the Stockholm Syndrome, has been observed in a multitude of violent episodes where the abused identifies with, and actually defends, the abusers.

In the interview Powell admitted that in practice the theory had not played out as expected. "But it's still early. If we blow up a few more Mosques I think they'll embrace the US presence."

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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