Newly sworn and sworn at NYS Governor Patterson, pinch hitter for old pro hitter, Eliot Spritzer announced that he has been pinching the dollies for years now. His wife, Michelle (apparently the most common name for desperate housewives married to blind and half blind black politicos) not to be outdone, provided the press with an arm's length list of her consorts.
In a case, suspiciously like "Oh, Yeah!? , Patterson returned to the podium to say that he's been on the down low for years. Michelle countered with obscene DVD of her and Oprah in widescreen. A shadowy figure in full dominatrix garb could be seen watching in the background. When reporters asked if that was Stedman, Oprah's imaginary boyfriend, Michelle refused to answer directly. All she would say was that the imaginary Stedman is not the only fantasy male in Oprah's life.
The press corps expecting an even wilder rebuttal from Patterson was shocked to witness NY's new first couple burst into raucous laughter. The couple weakened with tears of joy could barely gasp: "Early April Foo, you foos! You, white people will believe anything!"
