Smell-Election Fragrances helped present South Korean President, Lee Myung-bak to his Election Day victory. US campaign advisers have been studying this new technique and some very interesting results have emanated from the smell banks of both Demo and Repub Candies.
Son of Cain, John McCain's scent-visers at first experimented with Arizona chili peppers but no one could hear the old man over the hacking coughs in the audience. Then, they took a sniff at something the perfumeries call eldersmell but test groups said that it smelled too much like Walmart on Sunday afternoon. Finally they settled on a fragrance aimed at the Vietnam vet baby boomers (who made lots of big booms in Nam while McCain sat in the lap of luxury in the Hanoi Hilton). Napalm oil of Nam is the fragrance of choice from now on at all McCain rallies.
Obama's experts have also been hard at work experimenting with scents. Hawaiian papaya was in vogue for awhile followed by Indonesian Ricestafhl. African JoJoba wafted across the nostrils of some of the Obama gatherings but that seemed to sicken some of his white male constituency. Their most recent smell du jour is a mélange of Tony Resko Kielbasa with a hint of Rev Wright's crazy sauce.
Ralph Nader's people are going with new car seatbelt smell. The Clinton campaign in its usual details obsessed style has tested over 100 scents in their nose-focus groups. Something called "Monica's Panties" was popular with the 5% of male voters who are secure enough in their masculinity to support Hillary, though "Stained Denim" was a close second. Feminists loved the "Bella Absugar" and old line demos voted for "Bill's cigar". Still not decided, Senator Clinton says that she will most likely go to the convention with a surprise:" Expect the unexpected, but if there is a whiff of leather, Harleys and muscle oil , don't be surprised!"
