Green Companies Advocate for Warming Labels On Carcinogenic Products

Funny story written by Armedus Chunsky

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

image for Green Companies Advocate for Warming Labels On Carcinogenic Products

According to the Organic Consumers Association, Nature's Gate Organics, Giovanni Organic Cosmetics and Kiss My Face, Seventh Generation and other green companies have been putting 1,4-Dioxane, a carcinogenic chemical, in their products. Looking more and more like a McDonald's, the green companies involved in the scandal are trying to spin the story.

A representative from Seventh Generation claims that all their products need are new labels that show the risks of buying their products. Though many see this as green washing their cleaning products (pun intended), they see no reason for alarm.

"This story will only be read by those who read the Organic Consumers Association Report, so we don't have much to worry about," said a Kiss My Face spokesperson.

Some people, however, see no need for alarm.

"Before we get too worked up about this, it is important to note that even vegetables like broccoli have minute amounts of carcinogens in them, and they actually lessen the risk of getting cancer," says Professor Know-It-All.

Not so fast, however. Oprah, who recently featured Seventh Generation on her show, is furious that these companies lied to her about their products. She plans to drag the presidents of Seventh Generation and other companies onto her couch and pour detergent down their throats.

"Nobody lies to me and lives," cried Oprah.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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