Confounded Muslims Confuse Some People

Funny story written by Tommy_Chewat

Friday, 30 April 2004

image for Confounded Muslims Confuse Some People
I checked - it's not on there.

Harford County Maryland, a stack of bemused protestors stand around, fidgeting with maps and not quite booing at a newly built Mosque.

"We need to check the legalities of this," spoke David Price "I can't believe they've allowed it to be built so close to a military base."

Despite the misguided vexedness of the protest's ring leader, the bulk of the group has a larger concern - What is it doing in America at all?

"We had been led to believe that these Muslims had their own country - the Nation of Islam." Doris Harpesch, a local preserve maker, told me, "We all just don't know what's going on. Has there been an invasion that they're covering up?"

However the barely educated and incestuous troglodytes of Harford, who have somehow been allowed the vote, can set their minds at ease. A recent study undertaken by Harvard University has now proven conclusively that the Nation of Islam is not actually a nation.

Professor Danforth, Dean of Cultural Anthropology, had this to say:

"When people make reference to a Nation of Islam, what they are using is a figurative analogy to promote the notion of religious solidarity; much like the Christian notion of the Family of God."

"The ramification of this for Americans is that when an individual in a Muslim area, such as Afghanistan, performs an act that Americans might find distasteful, other Muslims in areas such as Palestine might not be at all responsible."

I didn't read Professor Danforths's report, it was too boring. One of the nerds that makes me coffee did though and he told me that the report also uncovered the following facts:

  1. Not all Jewish people are Zionists.
  2. Not all Russians are poor.
  3. Not all those who wander are lost.
  4. People living in rural America are not all inbred, badly cultivated and lacking in personal hygene.

Great stuff Professor but will it stop the mumbled jeers? Only if someone reads it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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