FBI publishes Spitzer brothel client rankings numerology

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 14 March 2008

image for FBI publishes Spitzer brothel client rankings numerology
All the brothel's clients earned brownie points by using a Puppet Monarchy loyalty card like this one

Washington AC/DC - (Lurid Ass Mess): The FBI has issued the Emperor's Club VIP ranking tables that outed NY Gov Eliot Spitzer this week as 'Client No# 9/11'.

The high-rolling spenders have all been caught after trying to cash in their Puppet Monarchy loyalty card brownie points that were being monitored by the 'rogue' S&M-3 satellite destroyed by the Pentagon after an intelligence breach.

Top of the pops of the harlots' list is Tony Blair whose No# 1/11 ranking was earned by getting the so-called 'Quartet Group' of Russia, USA, EU and UN to pay for all his whorings in the Middle East.

Second is Vladimir Putain's principal private undersecretary Prince Jefri Archer of Brunei who is on record as stealing $25 billion from his country's Sovereign Wealth Fund to bestow largesse on a swathe of Global Piss Process underlings such as London Mayor Ken Livingstone.

At the No# 3/11 position is Pope Joseph Ratzinger whose audacious Sunday collection plate robberies have financed a lavish fantasy life likened to 'a house of cards built on a pile of manure'.

Client No# 4/11 is HRH (sic) the Duke of York, top Puppet Monarchy harlot in the proliferation of Prince Bandar's dodgy arms dealings to the International Association of Non-Aligned Crack Barons.

At equal No# 5/11 positions are serial children's fiction thief JK Rowling and Japan's Crown Prince Naruhito of Japan of the Aki-Shit-Ho Chrysanthemum Puppet Throne. (Don't ask why!)

The No# 7/11 ranking belongs to Gerald Grosvenor, Duke of Westmonster, whose psychotic claims to the £7 billion UK property fortune is built on the myriad perjuries that form the backbone of New Labour's spineless Good Friday Agreement with the IRA.

No# 8/11 client is Bill Clinton, slipped down in the league table rankings after CIA surgeons implanted a remote-control bromide drip to curb his insatiable appetites for self-humiliation.

The No# 9/11 slot as we already know is Gov Eliot Spitzer, hubristic laughingstock of the American Bar Association who happily gave FBI investigators that crucial tip-off.

Client No# 10/11 is odds-on favortite Irish racewhores trainer Aidan O'Brien, master of Coolmore and principal toerag to international whore-on-terra proliferator the Agha Khan.

Finally at the No# 11/11 spot the FBI names Tony Blair's former blind trust bagman and chief WMD fantasist Lord Levy 'without whose contribution to the Global Piss Process' the entire Bush/Cheney Administration would have been behind bars a very long time ago.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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