New parent Bob Queen today came close to boiling point as baby daughter, April, squeezed out a watery stool no more than 30 seconds after a change.
"It's been happening all day", Bob lamented. "I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong… it just seems that we're working against each other here".
Bob, a high tech worker in a local medical establishement continued:
"It's incredible. I can set up routers, configure PCs and Macs and when that piece of crap Microsoft Exchange goes down I can even bounce ideas around with my friend John, but damn, I can't seem to work out how to make this whole excrement process work to anything like maximum efficiency."
Phone calls to a local pediatrician yielded little in the way of support.
"Babies do shit, they told me. Well, I know that, and I'm not trying to stop it. I'm just trying to work towards making it happen 30 seconds BEFORE I change a diaper not 30 seconds AFTER - I mean, it's not rocket science, is it?"
When asked for comment, Bob's wife, Mary, said, "Oh, for Christ's sake, hand her over and I'll change her myself!"
