Will the Bush economic stimulus package benefit Mexico?

Funny story written by jim byrd

Thursday, 7 February 2008

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Congress is set to finalize the stimulus package that President Bush has proposed to help stimulate the U.S. economy. Checks hopefully will start going out around May. The stimulus package is a reaction to the sub-prime market meltdown and various indicators that are effecting the nation's economy and the recently lagging stock market.

The proposed plan, in its current form is worth $193 billion. If a social security number holder makes $75,000 or less they will receive a $600 rebate and joint-filling married couples who make $150,000 or less will receive a $1,200 rebate. If a social security number holder falls within the categories above and has children, they will receive an additional $300 per child under 17 years of age.

Congressman Tom Tancredo railed against the stimulus package in its current form, stating that is would benefit illegal aliens who were working here with stolen or fake social security numbers and the money would make its way back to Mexico rather than into our economy. Tancredo proposed an amended stimulus package with the same amount of money, but rather than get a cash rebate, social security number holders would instead receive gift cards. "With a gift card the effect on the economy would be felt immediately and would make it impossible for the money to leave the country," said Tancredo.

Tom Tancredo's apocalyptic financial epiphany is becoming a reality.

The State of Sonora, Mexico is set to reap a windfall from the United States' stimulus package. Governor of Sonora, José Eduardo Bours Castelo Robinson, has stated during an exclusive interview with Univision's owner Jerry Perenchio, that the potential windfall from the stimulus package is already having an effect on his state's economy. Sonora has borrowed money from the World Bank against the economic stimulus package windfall they expect. Sonora was able to use U.S. taxpayer's money in the World Bank as collateral for the loan with President Bush's permission. The U. S. money at the World Bank has been earmarked to boost Iran's economy.

When asked by Perenchio how much money Sonora expected from the U.S. stimulus package, he stated, "3.8 billion dollars. " An astonished Perenchio asked him how they derived those numbers and Governor of Sonora, José Eduardo Bours Castelo Robinson read from a written statement: "We have 600,000 families from Sonora making less than $150,000 per year in the U.S. at $1,200 per family equals $720,000,000 million and each worker in the family has approximate 5 stole.., excuse me, borrowed social security numbers which would equal $3,600,000,000 billion plus each family has an estimated 6 children at $300 per child equals and additional $201,600,000 million bringing the grand total to $3,801,600,000 billion for the State of Sonora's economy.

Perenchio asked Governor of Sonora, José Eduardo Bours Castelo Robinson how that compares to the historical economic status of his state and Governor of Sonora, José Eduardo Bours Castelo Robinson stated, " In the past our annual economy brought in around fifty million dollars with seventy-five percent coming from our wonderful citizens sending money back home from the U.S. As you can see this economic stimulus package equals many, many generations of economic comfort for our state. We, all of us here in Sonora, thank George Bush for this gift."

When asked how the state would spend some of the money, Governor of Sonora, José Eduardo Bours Castelo Robinson said, "The first thing we are going to do is build a big fence between Sonora and the U.S. With this kind of money, you never know who might try to sneak across the border into Sonora. We have also been approached by several U.S. companies about helping them out such as Citibank, Dean Witter and Morgan Stanley."

"It sounds like your state is making some very prudent choices for the long term with your money," said Perenchio.

"Oh, one other thing we are going to do with the money," said Governor of Sonora, José Eduardo Bours Castelo Robinson. "We are going to have a statue erected of George

"What type of statue?" asked Perenchio.

"President Bush gave his permission for the statue with caveats. We had to model make a statue of him shooting the bird, as you say in America, and it had to be always pointed at the U.S. border," said Governor of Sonora, José Eduardo Bours Castelo Robinson.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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