Bush Beats Clinton 935 to One

Funny story written by drugtestallpoliticians

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

image for Bush Beats Clinton 935 to One
Honestly guys

Washington (IPP) - President for life, G.W. Bush beat Bill Clinton 935 to one in a tall tales contest. Bill Clinton lied when he said he "did not have sexual relations with that woman".

G.W. Bush lied 935 times about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction. His lied led to the squandering of American lives and treasure in a war against a country that literally had nothing to do with the events of 9-11. The war against Iraq also led to abandoning the search for Osama Bin Ladin who now sits under palm trees sipping on little drinks with tiny umbrellas in them.

Another casualty of 9-11 is the civil liberties once enjoyed by Americans under the Bill of Rights. Twenty savages with box cutters allegedly fly planes into American skyscrapers and it is Americans who lose their freedom to come and go as well as their freedoms to not have to produce a national I.D. card at check points among others. Torture is now legal, haebeas corpus has been suspended, and xenophobia is now as fashionable as mini-skirts once were.

When Bin Ladin was asked what his thoughts were on all of this he replied that his plan had succeeded beyond his wildest dreams thanks in part to Republicans and Democrats disdain and disgust with civil liberties.

Another casualty of the trillion dollars squandered on the Iraq quagmire is America's economy and infrastructure. Billions of dollars have been skimmed off the top by civilian and military contractors in Iraq. Meanwhile there is no money for Americans in need of a health plan, social security disability benefits, and America's bridges and roads are falling apart.

In the meantime only one person has been convicted for genuine terrorism and he is an American citizen, Americans are no safer than they were before 9-11, and more people around the world hate America today than before the events of 9-11 which many people believe was an inside job designed to jump start the military-industrial complex which was beginning to go broke after the fall of the Soviet Union.

But not to worry folks. The Republican candidates will soon be keeping everyone's mind off of this stuff by stirring up feelings against Mexicans crossing the non-existent border and by the recession and depression now well under way thanks to G.W. Bush and Company and their free spending ways and their creation of the biggest government and bureaucracy in history along with the passage of more laws and regulations than ever before.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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