Seattle, Washington - In response to McDonalds announcement that it has changed it menu for the first time in 30 years to include free Wi-Fi Internet access and over rated gourmet coffee, Starbucks also announced changes to its own menu as well. Starbucks will now offer along side its 6-dollar cups of coffee and Paul McCartney CDs, greasy sausage links, salty fries and cheep plastic kids toys.
Starbucks will not actually be making the food, simply reselling McDonald gift certificates at a highly over inflated mark-up.
"Our marketing research shows it's what our customers have come to expect from us," said a spokesman for Starbucks. "We dare not disappoint them."
Each morning Starbucks customers will participate in a silent online auction for the McDonald gift certificates. The customer who wins the bid wins the certificates.
"We will post the prices online and on the chalkboard at each Starbucks location by our Baristas for our customers to bid," said a spokesperson for Starbucks. "But all bids must be made online."
Winning bid Starbucks customers can redeem their McDonald meal tickets at their leisure, provided they are redeemed between the hours of 10 am and 11 am on the third Tuesday of every month.