President Bush has furiously denied that a monkey features in his family tree: 'This is crap - my great, great grand daddy was NOT a chimp! We had doves in our family tree!'
Asked if he was related to a dove he replied: 'I like to think that I am a dove of peace! And if you don't shut the xxxk up I'll invade Canada!'
Reminded of the chimp resemblance, Bush turned red with rage and threw his bananas across the oval office.
At this point his wife came in and told him he needed to take his medicine, which turned out to bear the label; 'Anti-Chimp Medicine' At this point Lady Antonia (that's me!) quizzed her rigorously:
'Oh honey that's just vitamins!' she exclaimed as she put a lead onto her husband and led him away.
'Where are you going?' I enquired, at which point Barbara turned and replied:
'He has to attend a tea party!'
Later a spokesman for the Bush clan claimed that I had made it all up.