Microsoft's Bill Gates Purchases US Treasury

Funny story written by Nowido

Saturday, 3 November 2007

image for Microsoft's Bill Gates Purchases US Treasury
Vista Is Everwhere Now

ISWIRE News - After long discussions among administration officials on how to reinstate the US Dollar as the official world reserve currency, all hope was just about lost until Henry Paulson Jr, Secretary of the Treasury, remembered a suggestion made by a clerk working in the data processing department.

Mr Paulson confirmed that at first he though that the idea was absurd, but after getting reports that even sales vendors in the island nation of the Maldives were rejecting the Dollar in exchange for their goods, he said to his senior staff, "Now this is beginning to get serious."

But when yesterday the G-186 officially adopted the Canadian "Loonie" as the official world reserve currency. The US Dollar crashed by 25% almost immediately, and crude oil shot up to $200 per barrel and gold traded at $2,000 per ounce, everyone at the Treasury was in a total panic.

He called the clerk, Jamal Gofur, into his office to repeat his suggestion once again in full. Jamal said that is real easy to fix this mess, just sell the Treasury to Bill Gates and let him take responsibility for the situation and have him solve the problem. He will know exactly what to do.

Mr Paulson, late Friday afternoon, called Mr Gates and after some small talk made the suggestion that he purchase the entire Department of the Treasury and fix things for the United States. Bill said, "Sure no problem at all, do you want a check right now or can we wait to finalize the details next week?"

Keenly aware that the banks were now all closed, Mr Paulson said that we can wait until later to finalize the details but that he wanted Bill and himself to make the announcement to the world of the new arrangement. A press conference was agreed to be held as soon as possible via computer links between Redmond and Washington. Treasury media staff immediately began leaking this news to the press.

Once this hit the wires not only did the Dollar recover all of the previous losses but all markets around the world began substantial rallies.

One Treasury senior staff member screamed out, "Oh my God, now we will all have to use Vista."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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