Written by Evan Essence

Monday, 15 October 2007

image for Mitt Romney Promises to Send Mormon Missionaries to Iraq

Mitt Romney said, during last week's Republican presidential debate, that if he is elected president, he will send thousands of Mormon missionaries to Iraq, to help restore civil order in that war-torn country.

Mormon missionaries appear in groups of two, ride bicylces, while talking to community members about the Book of Mormon. They can be distinguished from members of the bicycle organization, "Critcal Mass", because they are neatly groomed, and wear white shirts, and neckties while riding their bicycles.

Romney says Mormonism promotes strong community and family values, and this is exactly what is needed to stop the incessant carnage and butchery going on in Iraq.

During the debate, John McCain countered, that we should be converting the Iraqis to Christianity, not Mormonism. McCain said, there will be no peace in the Middle East, until all of those Muslims have been converted to Christianity.

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Mitt Romney, Mormon

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