Bong Hits 4 Jesus back in the saddle again

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 8 September 2007

image for Bong Hits 4 Jesus back in the saddle again
Bong Hits 4 Jesus reopened against a background of Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club furor

Juneau, Alaska - (Humbug Press): Deep in the heartlands of Alaska's Corrupt Bastards Club country wily Juneau defence attorney Doug Mertz has said a very public "Bollox!" to the July 2007 US Supreme Court ruling that got away with permanently gagging students' civil rights in the Bong Hits 4 Jesus row.

The ruling supported Juneau School Board's contention that suspending an 18 year old school student, Joseph Frederick, for his witty and attention-grabbing placard lampooning religiosity and marijuana use was a legitimate move.

But Mertz saw that one coming and has filed for damages on behalf of his client, now an English teacher in China.

Mertz's case is that Frederick's banner was not pro-drug but a protest for student speech.

And to ram the message home he is citing the US District Court in Alaska's contention that Frederick's speech was 'indeed political and therefore protected.'

To back up his damages case Mertz has cited his client's harassment, retaliatory tactics and oppression by Juneau
School District officials, 'including false police reports, a false shcool-insitgated arrest and slander about him directed toward his fellow students'.

"Just because Frederick was a student doesn't mean that a state organization has the right to smear him with the sort of excrement treatment for which a non-student would automatically receive hundreds of millions of dollars in potential damages payouts," a legal source added in support of the suit.

Now all that remains is for the 9th Circuit Court either to dismiss the case outright or send it to the US District Court in Alaska.

And given the furor this year over state lawmakers' corruption in the FBI's Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club probe Frederick's damages suit may just stand a good chance of yet another hearing.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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