SAN DIEGO (Duh Newspaper) - Last week a red-eye flight from San Diego to Chicago was postponed after "us" passengers overheard "them" passengers speaking Arabic. American Airlines Flight #590 was originally scheduled to depart San Diego at 11:00 pm, but an altercation between "us" and "them" led to an extended overnight delay.
Although there is no law yet against speaking Arabic onboard aircraft, "us" passengers became alarmed when they overheard "them" passengers (a group of six Arabic-speaking Iraqi-Americans) talking to one another prior to takeoff. "Them" passengers were returning to Detroit via Chicago and had been working with US military personnel as part of pre-deployment training.
The lead spokesman for "us" passengers (identified as 'Mr. Dick Head') eventually became so riled up by "them" passengers that he refused to continue on the flight, insisting that the airplane return to the terminal instead. The pilot (identified as 'Captain America') apparently sympathized with the passenger and returned to the airport at 11:26 pm.
Sadly, San Diego airport has a strictly-enforced "no-fly" curfew after 11:30 pm. The flight eventually did leave for Chicago at 10:15 the following morning. However, all 126 passengers were forced to find their own overnight accomodations after the plane returned to the terminal just before midnight.
American Airlines has issued a statement that it will soon install ejection seats (for use if passengers decide not to fly for personal reasons once the plane has left the terminal). And 'Mr. Dick Head' has admitted that he will no longer open letters/packages that arrive at his house because they could be bombs from his fellow passengers.
