Canton, Ohio - (Ass Mess): The Rhode Island kitty dubbed 'Doctor Death' for his uncanny ability to sniff out dying patients at a nursing home for the elderly has been upstaged by an Ohio schnauzer.
Scamp, a four year old pet belonging to nursing home staff member Deirdre Huth at The Pines nursing home in Canton, Ohio, has an impressive tally of over 40 detected deaths of residents since 2004.
"That's more than double the number of Oscar the Kitty's record in Rhode Island," his proud owner said today.
"Scamp somehow senses when somebody's about to die and starts behaving oddly with vulpine baying and frantic scratching of his balls," Ms Huth said today.
"Soon as we see him at it the alarm bell rings and we know we're gonna get a new vacancy in the home very soon.
"But let me state this very clearly fcr the record: my little pooch ain't actually responsible for any of the deaths around here.
"They're all natural causes or as near as dammit and certified by our medical directors on the premises.
"So it's totally unfair to call him the Grim reaper or Doctor Death II!
"he's just a very psychic little pooch and should be given a mdeal, or an award of some kind.
"Maybe a trip to the White House even?
"Just hope he doesn't start performing his little act if Dick Cheney's around, him with his dodgy ticker 'n' all!"
