Sacramento, CA --Arnold Schwarzenegger, the newly-appointed governor of California, wants to take on the White House. In order to do so, the Constitution will need to be amended, allowing foreign-born citizens to run for the presidency.
"This is not a tumor. All we want to do is make the Constitution fair for all Americans, even Americans who weren't born in America. Maybe even Austria. But this is not all about me. No, it is about equality. Yes." The Governator supposedly said from his palatial home today.
"Vhy should ve keep Americans in office. Look at all those puny boy policitians. They don't know what they are doing. By now, I would have annihilated Saddam Hussein. And Osama Bin Laden. Forget it. I would have James Cameron hunt him down and have him killed on National television." A friend of Arnold's said, doing his best Ah-nold impression. It was really quite good.
In an official statement released today by an official sounding group, the governor wants people to know that he really, really, really doesn't want to change the Constitution for his own benefit.
"It's not like he wouldn't change it for anything else worthwile, just not gay marriages. He wants to stick to the real issues and Americans care if Arnold is president, not if they have equal rights to civil unions," a young man said today from the steps of the California state house. He would have sounded more convincing if he weren't being chased by a Predator.
