(Hell) - In a surprise move, Satan, aka the devil, Beezlebub, the Prince of Darkness, today fired his long time publicist, the Vatican.
Satan cited a difference of opinion and non-performance as the reasons for the parting.
In a letter, written in blood, Satan stated, "Though the Vatican has been my publicist for the past 2,000 years, it's time for a change. The Vatican has failed to get me proper publicity for causing any of the ills and evils of the modern world. I received no credit for the Iraq war, global warming, Usama Bin Laden, celebrity bad behavior, HMO's, gas prices, the current U.S. Congress and the Catholic priest sexual predator scandal. Proper blame was not given unto me. In fact, I haven't been getting any good publicity since the 19th century. Mortals have forgotten I even exist. I will not be ignored."
Satan is expected to replace the Vatican with a Hollywood publicist.
copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence
