Written by Hugh Plonnka

Monday, 18 June 2007

image for Exposed! Jailbird Paris Stuffs Pussy
Paris Hilton. Stuffing pussy could become a career for the young heiress.

LA, Monday - Troubled heiress Paris Hilton's stay in prison took an unexpected twist in the early hours of Monday morning.

The 26 year old "has been cooperative since her incarceration. Her good time and work time credit is accruing," according to Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore, and as a result she's been allowed more freedom to "explore herself".

However, fellow inmates were left in "a state of complete shock" when, just before 'lights out' on Sunday evening, there were reports of a "pussy being stuffed" and it wasn't long before rumours were rife that Ms Hilton was somehow involved.

Whitmore told a packed press conference at gone midnight on Monday "I can confirm that Paris Hilton WAS involved in the 'pussy stuffing' incident earlier this evening."

Reporters, who'd already labelled it "pussygate", were left gobsmacked as Whitmore revealed that prison officers had been invited to take photos, and that, indeed, he had one of said photos in his possession.

A bidding war ensued between rival publications and television companies, but Whitmore told the rabble to calm down and dimmed the lights as a huge plasma TV screen took center stage.

Zips were heard and briefcases and notepads were rested on reporters' laps as the screen fired up.

On the screen appeared a picture of a cat, which looked "kind of alive, kind of dead, which I guess is testament to the quality of work Ms Hilton has achieved" according to one journalist.

It seems that Ms Hilton has discovered taxidermy during her time inside, and, according to Steve Whitmore, "there is a moderate chance she will decide to leave her old lifestyle behind, and start stuffing pussies for a living, as it's obvious she has a real talent for it".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Paris Hilton




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