Written by Buck E Filbert

Monday, 11 June 2007

image for Paris Hilton Issues Press Release Requesting No Press Releases?
The press waiting for Paris to be released in 37 days They're ready!

Paris Hilton, the illusive, hermit like heiress to the Hilton fortune, doesn't understand, much like the rest of the world, why all the media attention over pretty much nothing. A tempest in a teacup if you will.

Hilton, avoiding media contact as usual, released a statement for the media, from the twin towers medical unit stating, "I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials. I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world."

The thing Paris Hilton failed to anticipate while carving out her niche in the media is, once you start the snowball down the hill it gets bigger and bigger faster and faster until, unavoidably it swallows you whole, leaving no trace.

A few months ago AP, Associated Press, requested that reporters post no stories about Paris Hilton for a period of 24hrs. It was a social experiment to see of the earth would spin off its axis without Paris stories. Unfortunately the repercussions ended up being everyone reported on the 24hr moratorium on Paris Hilton stories. Inadvertently, NO, Paris Hilton stories became a Paris Hilton story. Needless to say, the experiment failed miserably, the backlash was twice as many Paris stories.

If she didn't specifically request, no stories, this story would not be possible. So lets all get together and give Paris a break, can't we all just leave her alone?

Needless to say, but I will, this press release for the media to not report on Paris stories has confounded Spoof writers. Do we report on the non reporting request? Or, do we report on this rare non report thing, or ignore it all together, we're not really sure. Is it really just a reverse psychology thing?We can't wrap our minds around it. Damned if we do damned if we don't.

Paris really needs to go to the school of Howard Hughes to figure out just how this low key, invisibility approach really works.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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