The Bush administration announced today it was formally declaring war on the State of Rhode Island. Rhode Island was the last state of the original 13 states to ratify the United States Constitution. Rhode Island, "the smallest state with the longest name" was the first state to declare independence from British rule sparking the American Revolution.
When asked why Bush wanted to go to war with Rhode Island the President stated, "Well, they're little and I think we can take em, they've always been trouble makers from the start." The rest of the nation could benefit from their wonderful textiles.
When advised of the impending attack the state's governor released this statement, "Bush has always been irritated by the fact we're not really an island. If he wants war then war it is!"
Rhode Island's National Guard Adjutant General is recalling any troops from Iraq to prepare for war defending their home turf.
Sam Turret, a lifetime Rhode Island resident said, "Bush is just trying to find someone he can beat in war but he's going to find, we may be small, but we're mighty. He's once again bitten off more than he can chew."
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert