Hillary Clinton Changes Name to Hilary

Funny story written by Warren Redlich

Saturday, 19 May 2007

image for Hillary Clinton Changes Name to Hilary
Hillary now Hilary

The Hillary Clinton campaign announced today that the Senator is changing her first name from Hillary (with two Ls) to Hilary (with one L). Speaking this morning at a press conference, campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle explained that this change emphasizes the candidate's commitment to efficiency. "In these days of global warming, even small steps like this can make a difference."

Al Gore, who has been consulting with all the Democratic candidates on environmental issues, explained that removing the extra L in Hillary will reduce 117 tons of global carbon emissions. This reflects the intense coverage of the candidate and the number of times her name is mentioned in newspapers and other media. While each use of the extra L adds only 0.0001 tons of carbon emissions, the incredibly frequency with which her name is used causes a tremendous impact in the aggregate.

Gore suggested that candidate John Edwards is considering dropping the H from John, so that he would be known as Jon Edwards in the future. The Edwards campaign could not be reached for comment.

Gore also applauded Republican candidate Ron Paul for having such a short name. He said he would be working with other Republican candidates such as Mitt (Mit) Romney and John McCain (Jon Mcain).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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