Von Assfelt sues Faux over Anna Nicole fraud slur

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 15 March 2007

image for Von Assfelt sues Faux over Anna Nicole fraud slur
"Even my regular hate mail's deserted me!"

Florida - (Ass Press): Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Prince Frederick Von Assfelt is suing Faux News and talk show host Bill O'Reilly after being deserted by his hate mail regulars and getting besiedge at the local grocery store by 'people giving him dirty looks'

"They look at me as if I'm some sort of fraudulent slimebag," he said.

"Like I'm the attention seeking, headline-milking, adulterous opportunist wannabe baby-snatcher trying to cash in on Anna Nicole's death," he told Halo! magazine.

"O'Reilly started it. He told my sweet, semi-comatose wife on coast to coast TV that I'd been fooling around behind her back.

"Then he said I was a fraud. That I didn't have a single sperm in my shrivelled ageing Teutonic scrot. That my darling Anna Nicole would have puked rather than fellate me all night long during our heady trysts at the Bel Air Hotel.

"Now the grocery store delivery boy's bad-mouthing me and my hate mail regulars are ignoring me."

Von Assfelt wants $10 million damages "and a pubic retraction", said his lawyer.

Zsa Zsa Gabor is 92.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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