Britney Spears lesbian sex tape besmirches the American Flag

Written by Breeze

Wednesday, 14 March 2007


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Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

As an American, I was proud that we had produced the worlds greatest singer and actress.

In former Mousekateer, Britney Spears, we had someone we could aspire to. She was a goddess with blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and with a natural, God-given talent.

Although we were universally hated throughout the world, we could stand tall and shout 'Look at us, you scabby retards! We are Americans!'

After 9/11, things changed for the American public but through it all, there was Britney. She sang 'Hit me baby one more time', a patriotic call to arms, warning the terrorists that if they dared to attack us again, they would incure the full wrath of a sleeping giant known as the USA.

When our brave boys fought in Afganistan and Iraq, the reports showed our troops courageously burning crops and shooting toothless villagers, as Britney sang 'I got that Boom Boom thang' in the background.

She ipitomised the American way of life, from our historic constitution to our God-given right to push everybody else around.

Tragically, she has become a parody of herself, a sad and bloated, baldy skank, better known for vomiting into her handbag and cavorting with large breasted strippers than for her music.

Some say that she has suffered a breakdown, the huge pressures of stardom have become too much and she is a shell of the person she once was. A sad and despairing little girl who is frightened and alone.

But I say bollocks to that! As far as I am concerned, she's let us down and I believe she should be fucked out of the country!

This great nation of ours was built on courage and endevour, not rehab and cutting your hair off if things got a bit much.

As the latest Britney scandal hits the papers, this reporter believes that the only way we can reclaim our national pride is to sling her whiney ass out of the USA and tell her 'Don't come fuckin' back!'.

Maybe then we can turn our attention back to invading oil rich countries and stepping on the little guy.

Maybe then we can climb back onto that mountaintop and cry out, 'Look at us, you scabby retards! We're Americans!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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