Cook County - (Rioters): In a landmark ruling a judge at the Cook County District Court has ruled that cattle prods are inefficient means of promoting good parenting skills after federal legislation downgraded the voltage capacity last year on standard issue Old Testament approved correction rods, as used by Fran and Robert Bernstein on their severely autistic 48-year-old son Bradley.
But the Bernsteins are sticking with their guns: "Thirty years ago we had a judge sign an order saying it was OK. That it was Proper Care. That it let him live a decent God-fearin' life. That we was doing this to protect him. Mostly from himself and his self-abusin' ways in the local Wal-Mart which is where he was gettin' over excited by the smell of rubber."
An attorney for the care home at which Bradley Bernstein spends a lot of his time told the Cook County judge that he had "great compassion for the Bernsteins and has never doubted their convictions."
These convictions include assault and battery of a minor with a live electric cable, battery with a 50,000 volt battery and related charges involving electronic domestic gadgetry.
Social workers acting on behalf of Bradley told the judge that "it made no sense to decrease the voltage on a 250lb fully grown man" but that there were still plenty of other remedies and approaches that could circumvent the new legal requirements.
Some of these are still being test-marketed in Guantanamo Bay before release onto the open market later this year.
