Effects of the DAMN

Funny story written by ErHoff

Wednesday, 28 February 2007

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Washington DC - Today a whistle blower came forward with accusations that the FCC has had proof that our airwaves have been saturated with Direct Airwave Mind Numbing or DAMN.

Some researchers have been speculating on effects of DAMN on a global scale since the days of the red scare, but now with help of the brave individuals who have come forward to confirm that entire populations have been targeted, we can move past the speculation of the very existence and begin to focus on the effects and possible means of protection. Some scientists are very concerned that DAMN may have been saturating our airwaves for generations.

One of the biggest side effects of Direct Airwave Mind Numbing is aloof apathy unseen since the days before society first learned to question authority. Some have speculated that the effects on society have been dire, as seen in heightened lethargy at the poll, in op-ed pages, and lack of accountability demanded from our governments.

Why would the FCC allow DAMN to sap America's dynamic mindsets? Some unconfirmed reports point out that certain economic contaminants may have been involved.

What can Americans do to protect themselves? Some scientists, political scientists, say the best way for a person to gain back or even develop dynamic internal and independent thought processes would be to turn off all commercial network radio and television feeds; they go further to assert that people read, and read diverse subjects and points of view and to look at the underpinning reasons for the views they themselves hold and exercise their rights to amend their perspectives when needed.

While some see hope, many believe that DAMN saps the very thought processes needed for the individuals most affected to help themselves. Others feel that government intervention could accelerate the recovery process, if economic contaminants could be removed at the FCC, US Senate, House and FTC, although there is little realistic hope of that.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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