Area 51 Releases UFOs to Aid Gulf Coast Victims

Funny story written by Bozena Bubs

Sunday, 2 October 2005

image for Area 51 Releases UFOs to Aid Gulf Coast Victims
UFO seen over Waveland, Mississippi on Saturday afternoon.

Waveland, MS -- With relief supplies traveling so slowly to the remote areas of the massive destruction along the Mississippi Gulf Coast, General C. Manley, USAF, of Area 51 announced to Waveland shortwave radio operators and law enforcement Friday for residents not to be alarmed by the sightings of UFOs beaming down pallets of desperately needed food, water, and medicines.

General Manley stated that UFOs can travel several thousands of miles per hour and will greatly reduce the time and need of National Guard troops on the ground to truck in supplies across destroyed roads, miles of downed trees, and local dissident rural residents who are hijacking unarmed vehicles.

General Manley would not comment on who is piloting the UFOs, but large American flag emblems are clearly seen on the bellies of the craft. He regretted to announce that no one will be air-lifted out by the UFOs and injured persons will have to wait for standard transportation.

General Manley stated that anyone who fires on the UFOs face serious state and federal criminal charges of large fines to $100,000 and fifteen years to life in a federal prison. Should the unfortunate event occur that a UFO crashes, General Manley demanded that only local law enforcement agencies, the National Guard, MEMA, and FEMA will be the authorized rescuers. Anyone found looting a downed UFO could possibly be shot on sight. General Manley's tone of voice became very serious as he spoke of the possibility of downed UFOs. If anyone sees a downed UFO report it to your local law enforcement or National Guard and stay away from the craft.

General Manley also demanded that when the UFOs are seen that no one is to fly personal air craft in their vicinity or risk being shot down by "laser technology".

Governor Haley Barbour ended the short wave transmission asking his fellow Mississippians for calm and prayer during this trying time on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. He stated that small solar powered AM & FM radios will be distributed along with the much needed food, water, and medicines. He commented that the radios won't work well when the UFOs fly over, so flights will be during non-typical news broadcasts on the hour and half-hour.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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