Man Terrified After Biden Says US Will Be 'Back To Normal' by July 4

Funny story written by Dewani Unhatched

Friday, 12 March 2021

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Oh Hell, no!

President Joe Biden's announcement that Americans can expect life to return to normal later this summer, has left one Fort Lauderdale man terrified.

Duncan Whitehead, 54 (though he looks 35), handsome, articulate, great dancer, lover, and all-around fantastic guy, told reporters that Biden's words sent shivers down his spine.

"Back to normal? I hope not. Mass shootings, sky-high gas prices, riots, wars, immigration chaos, school massacres, fucking Ellen DeGeneres? Hell, no! Why in the name of Betty White would we want to go back to normal?"

Whitehead's words were echoed by thousands of others who agreed with the hunk.

"You know, Whitehead isn't just a good-looking mother-fucker, he is highly intelligent. He has hit the nail on the head. As always," said one man, who, it had to be said, wasn't half as pretty as Whitehead.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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