The mischievous and prankish Bart Simpson has just announced that he is a transsexual woman. The announcement was made.at a press conference held at Moe’s Tavern located in Springfield, while he sipped a cold Bud light. Bart, who has been in the fourth grade for 31 years, made the announcement on a bar stool that was juxtaposed to a bar stool of a passed out Homer Simpson, who was snoring in his spilt beer.
“As you all know, I have been in the fourth grade for 31 years now, and I’m wondering if I will ever see the fifth grade,” Bart started. “If I were a woman, I could take advantage of the Women’s Hopscotch Act, which allows women and girls to be guaranteed graduation from every grade, regardless of their grades and performance. Furthermore, I would like to be addressed by my new name, Bartrina, and my preferred pronoun which is bubba.”
When asked whether or not if he will indulge in sexual re-assignment surgery, he replied:
“I haven’t given that much thought. Honestly, I have never completed one single assignment that I was given in school, so the chances of that ever happening are really low. I just want to go shopping for a nice dress and bra which are not too constraining. If they are constraining, it will interfere with my mischievous lifestyle.”
“When I told my neighbor, Mr. Flanders, about my sexuality, he was ecstatic, telling me he likes wearing dresses, too, so I guess you could say I have some support from him.”
When questioned about Homer and Marge’s reaction to his announcement, Bart said:
“Well, my mom was apprehensive. She is worried that I am going to raid her bedroom closet, and wear some of her best dresses. My dad just said for us to go to Moe’s and have a couple of beers, so I guess he is okay with it.”
As of press time, Lisa Simpson announced that she was in the process of transitioning into a dog.