Who'd a thought that NASA would give the United States Postal Service competition in the employee rage department - Never saw that one coming! Perhaps rage by American Idol rejects, but certainly not astronauts. Astronauts have always been regarded - since the word GO, coined by John Glen - everyone's solid, smiling, articulate, scientifically bent, cheer leaders; not given to anything as earthy as love triangles, car theft, kidnapping, assault and wearing diapers.
Driving cross country from Houston to Orlando on a 900 mile none stop trip with the aid of diapers, a feat Pampers doesn't exactly want to promote in advertisements, Captain Lisa Marie Nowak sought revenge on her love triangle competition and fellow astronaut, Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman; landing her in jail, and hopefully a hot bath.
Captain Nowak's defense attorney said, "What we have here is a desperate woman who wanted to have a conversation with the other woman."
(A conversation? What they charged her with is attempted first degree murder. You've got to love defense attorneys! And dentist Clara Harris ran over her husband five times with her Mercedes because she got her foot stuck on the gas peddle!)
Captain Nowak carried with her an arsenal that included: a new steel mallet, a BB gun, knife, pepper spray, wig, rubber tubing, large garbage sacks and those diapers. Some conversation. Some carry on. Knowing that such a collection would have peeked the interest of baggage inspectors, the Captain decided to make the 900 mile drive to confront her romantic rival instead of taking to the friendly skies.
NASA officials claim there was no indication that Nowak had psychological problems. "We don't meddle in their private lives." (Think steel mallet.) Officials plan to review procedures in wake of astronaut Nowak's arrest. (Don't forget those diapers.)
Well, if it were up to Donald Trump, like Miss USA, he'd give astronaut Lisa Marie Nowak a second chance. After all, life brings on baggage, issues, stuff, and carry on. Let her have another trip on the space shuttle. Maybe don't include her rival on the same launch, but check her carry on for steel mallets.
In her written statement, Air Force Captain Colleen Shipman wrote Nowak drove from Houston to Orlando to, "physically confront and assult {sic} me."
Diapers and a poor speller? NASA you've got problems!
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