Barr Forced to Cut Short Lecture on Christian Morals, Return to D.C. to Manage Latest Trump Scandal

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Tuesday, 15 October 2019

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Barr Scolding Unnamed “Militant Secularists" at Notre Dame

Chicago - Attorney General of the United States and President Trump's legal fixer, William Barr, on a speaking tour of Catholic Colleges across the country, was forced to cut short a speech at Loyola University and return to Washington D.C. yesterday, to manage the most recent in a long list of scandals and misdeeds attributable to his boss, the aforementioned Donald Trump.

In his speeches at Notre Dame and Loyola, Barr heaped scorn upon unnamed "militant secularists" for a perceived loss of Christian values and morals in American society.

Christianity is based upon the teachings of the Bible and Jesus Christ, who condemned human shortcomings such as adultery, worship of money, bearing false witness, pride, arrogance and dishonesty, but offered to forgive those who sinned by confessing to him, and not doubling down on their lies and misdeeds.

Barr has defended his boss, President Trump, by testifying before Congress that there is nothing legally wrong with a president who pays hush money to porn stars before elections, uses his position to rake in money at his resorts, and spreads lies and innuendo about his political opponents.

Barr also failed to point out in his speeches that many countries in Europe and Asia have lower participation of the Christian religion, and much lower rates of crime, than the United States.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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