CHINA offers to adopt Trump's Daughter

Written by Madame George

Tuesday, 8 October 2019

image for CHINA offers to adopt Trump's Daughter
"Girl Power Saves Face and has a direct line to Santa"

In a confusing Sunday morning diplomatic phone call, White House representatives were reached by China's Premier as part of "Girls' Self-Esteem Week".

The Premier congratulated the President's family on the beautiful phrase Donald Trump's granddaughter gave in Mandarin, before gently offering to adopt his youngest daughter on behalf of the The People's Republic of China.

"All of the women feel strongly that she needs to be shown more love and affection by appearing alongside women of all shapes and sizes who would be excited at the opportunity to share a photography session in support of any charity of the Youngest Daughter's choice. They would all be very proud and honoured to stand beside her in the same picture."

"They want her to know she is beautiful just the way she is, and men with paunches should never throw stones - or any other respected film director - when exercising on the martial arts mat of international discussion," read the Premier, from a prepared statement.

The NAACP released a statement decrying "Family Slagging" directly after the offer was registered formally with the Secret Service, in diplomatic response.

The Premier then offered to send a letter to Santa on behalf of the Youngest Daughter, outlining why the President should be put on the Naughty List this year.

White House officials have not yet offered a formal response to either offer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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