Trump Pressures Liechtenstein's President: "Investigate the Bidens"

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Saturday, 5 October 2019

Vaduz, Liechtenstein. Woof Blister reporting for SIN, Spoof International News. This capital city is abuzz after U.S. President Donald Trump's devious phone call to this country's president, Albert Frick, dragged the Liechtensteiners into the morass of 2020s American presidential election.

Trump reminded Frick that the U.S. was granting the Liechts $75 in military aid, for the purchase of new epaulets for the royal guards' uniforms, for which Frick was effusively thankful. But Trump then said he would appreciate a favor: couldn't Frick investigate Joe and Hunter Bidens' corrupt dealings in Liechtenstein during the Obama administration and beyond?

When Frick replied that he didn't think the Bidens had ever been to Liechtenstein, Trump responded that that didn't matter. "I don't care if you don't find anything. Just keep the investigation going until our election next year. Your royal guard might need fuzzy hats by then, and I'm sure we can find the money. Hey, but this ain't no quid pro quo."

Insiders suggest that Trump doesn't expect an investigation of the Bidens will take place, but just the announcement of it will further ruin Joe Biden's standing among Democrats.

Ukraine, China, Liechtenstein... could Andorra be next?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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