Statue of Liberty poem to be re-written as part of new immigrant program

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 15 August 2019

image for Statue of Liberty poem to be re-written as part of new immigrant program
Possibly (or not) Mr. Cuccinelli's feet, as he lay exhausted from effort with his rewrite

A new "Public Charge Rule" is now in effect, emphasizing "immigrant self-sufficiency and responsibility."

To this purpose, various services for needy immigrants will be abolished.

Medicaid, food stamps, and housing vouchers fall into this bailiwick of assistance to the desperate.

This legislation will save money, and, more important, encourage these individuals to stand up for themselves, according to the Trump administration.

Meanwhile, Acting Director of US Citizenship and Immigration Services, Ken Cuccinelli, has volunteered to re-write Emma Lazarus’s poem, inscribed on The Statue of Liberty.

Key words in the inscription:

“Give me your tired, your poor
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore
Send these, the homeless, tempest tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Mr. Cuccinelli says that certainly the poem still applies—but has been misunderstood.

It was intended for those who did not belong to the affluent class of the country from which they fled. This does NOT mean they were "poor."

Moreover, Ms. Lazarus’s poem, according to Director Cuccinnelli applies to those who can “stand on their own two feet” and not become a burden.

Accordingly, Mr. Cuccinelli has revised the famous poem, in keeping with the new Trump “public charge and self-sufficiency” program.

“Give me your tired, your not that poor
Your muddled masses from beyond our shores
Who can stand on their own two feet and more
Who will not become a public charge
A burden to vouchers, medicaid, and food stamps
But self-sufficient like us, the elites, the true American champs!”

Mr. Cuccinelli’s rewrite has earned the admiration of The White House as “Outstanding and surely inspiring to all those fleeing our trade war programs and regime change operations in Central America and elsewhere.”

Not all critics, however, are pleased with this “update” to the Lazarus poem.

Noted Professor Lawrence Spaghettinelli, who asked to keep his university anonymous, has rejoined with yet another literary effort in response to these latest Trump administration maneuvers.

“Give me your feeble, your arrogant fools
Your muddled politicians assailing the meek
Find them ubiquitous throughout this administration
Plotting disruption and disintegration
In the name of economy and the next election
Compare them with Emma Lazarus in their stupefaction!”

The New York Times reports these efforts with Ms. Lazarus’s poem from one hundred years ago are now under consideration for The Nobel Prize in Literature for 2020.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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