Georgia's "Fatal Heartbeat" Bill Bans Resuscitation

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 6 June 2019

Atlanta, Georgia. Special to The Spoof. The Georgia legislature today began consideration of a drastic measure that would ban resuscitation except in the case of attempted suicide.

The bill is sponsored by an aggressive, right-wing religious group that has tried for years to outlaw resuscitation as a violation of God's Law. The attitude in the legislature following passage of the fetal heartbeat law is such that adoption seems imminent.

Primarily, the proposal declares that once the heart has pumped its last bodily-induced beat, it would be illegal for anyone, including doctors or paramedics, to reactivate the heart.

The suicide exclusion is in keeping with the group's strong opposition to taking one's own life and a state law banning suicide or assistance in a suicide.

Similar measures are now being prepared throughout the South.

Any legal challenge is likely to reach the Supreme Court, where pro-life conservative justices will have a difficult time writing an opinion on either side of this issue.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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