Janesville, Wisconsin. After a long and frustrating day of working in his office, Bob White, 42, came home, only to find that his wife, Mary, 41, was profoundly upset with the fact that he had never self-actualized, gotten himself out there, or thoroughly pleased himself with excessive alcohol use and prostitution in Thailand.
The exhausted Thrivent Financial Adviser (and loving father-of-three) was astounded, shocked, and even hurt when his wife told him that he had never really "found himself", and that everything he was doing was just for the purposes of earning a salary.
"I know we go to Church every Sunday and listen to sermons about the love of Jesus Christ with our children, but your Mid-Life Crisis and your existential frustration are tearing us both apart," Mary stated.
"All the advanced business classes you took in College were extremely difficult, but Education is merely an 'Institution of Control' that is forced upon the souls of young and naïve individuals who don't know any better, and I think all that academic pressure merely molded you into an obedient, soul-dead, middle-class slave," she added.
Despite the fact that her words were very painful (but true), Bob wept silently inside as his beloved soul mate tried to comfort him with the solution that he resolve his pent-up tension by flying to Bangkok (or even Pattaya) in order to guzzle tremendous amounts of Whiskey and Beer before purchasing one, two, or maybe even three prostitutes at the same time.
Fearing that her husband may go to school online and put himself through the pointless frustration of trying to change careers, Mrs. White felt it necessary that Bob let cheap, sleazy women crawl all over him in an orgy of lustful passion so that he could 'blow his load' several times over a 10- to 14-day stretch of 'much needed' vacation time.
After being given a handful of foreign currency and a plane ticket, Bob was comforted with the fact that his office paperwork would still be waiting for him when he got back home, and that his hard-liquor induced 'ass-raiding' of 'everything within sight' would not be an issue.